Oh my god, you guys. OH MY GOD. You need to go to this site right now: http://www.toonamiaftermath.com/. Do it.
Did you do it? Do it! I know, I too have been burned when people insist I have to see a site RIGHT NOW that didn't really warrant that level of excitement, but I am telling you, for the first time in my entire life, here is a web site that warrants that level of excitement. CLICK. IT.
I know, right? It warms me well to know not only that there are other huge fans of Toonami and mid 90's/early '00s Cartoon Network, but that they're crazy enough to devote their time, energy, and money to recreating the experience in a way that will almost certainly end with all of them sued. But they did it anyway! The fact that people out there work their asses off just to entertain, for nothing more than that intrinsic value... really, it hits me on a level meaningful enough that it almost brings tears to my eyes. Thank you, you wonderful, crazy bastards!
Look at the schedule. Okay, whadda we got here... Well, you got a lot of the anime my friends, brother, and I would devour after school. Dragonball Z, obviously. Tenchi's there. Outlaw Star, kick ASS. The "Midnight Run" stuff... remember "Midnight Run?" Slightly more violent anime! Cowboy Bebop, 8th MS Team, Yu Yu Hakusho... was Ruroni Kenshin afternoon or midnight?Both? I don't remember, that was kinda at the tail end of my viewership... Don't remember them ever showing Berserk, Ranma 1/2, or Trigun, but whatev, they fit. Then you've got pretty much every single Cartoon Cartoon. Seriously, I think they've got all of them (except Grim and Evil, but I think that one came later...). Some of the early/precursor Adult Swim stuff like Space Ghost Coast to Coast, Mission Hill, Home Movies... Batman AND Batman Beyond, both ends of the spectrum. Then some stuff that I don't think ever came near Toonami, such as Animaniacs, Freakazoid, Beast Wars, Roughnecks, and X-Men: The Animated Series, but I don't think anyone in the "Toonami fan" age bracket is going to care. Plus, they play house ads and the old Toonami framing sequences between episodes, for extra nostalgic appeal.
Y'know, we really got lucky, cartoon-wise, anyhow, to grow up when we did. TVTropes calls it The Renaissance Age of Animation, and their description is probably better than anything I could do. Nicktoons, Cartoon Cartoons, Toonami, WB Stuff, Darkwing Duck, The Simpsons... just killer stuff. I guess market forces made hand-drawn, higher quality stuff profitable back then, because today its all low budgets and CGI, because kids have too many other things competing for their time and income, like internet phones that play games and music. Christ, when I was a kid the height of technology was the Game Boy Color. And we were happy to have that Game Boy Color, it was amazing! But at the end of the day, of COURSE we watched Dragonball Z and Outlaw Star. Because all we had to distract us was the Game Boy Color! And I might have had dial-up internet at the time... I think I was the only one of my friends who did, and only one computer in the house was connected, and videos took a few hours to load, and you couldn't make phone calls while online, and-
Friday, March 11, 2011
Monday, February 28, 2011
The Silent Scope Conspiracy!
You've all played Konami's "Silent Scope," yes? I have, recently. And I think I've stumbled onto something. Something big.
I think the narrator is working with the terrorists.
Here's why:
Throughout the game, without fail, the sniper finds himself alone against an army of terrorists. The plot revolves around these terrorists trying to kidnap the President and his family by force; in what universe does that happen without a literal army arriving at the scene?
The narrator sounds like some kind of operator, directing the sniper and others to their various assignments. Anybody who's seen "24" knows what's going on here; they guy in front of the computer directs all the SWAT teams to go tackle the terrorists on the left, while they get away with their dastardly deeds on the right. The sniper is said to be an outside contractor. Could it be that he's arriving at the scene without backup because he's not linked into the same corrupted system and command hierarchy?
It's implied that the narrator and the sniper know each other; he tells the sniper he's "lost his touch," for instance. Not evidence of wrongdoing, but there's never been a movie in which the mole and the hero don't have a friendly relationship before the reveal. More damning is what happens when the sniper is killed. In a much darker tone, the narrator whispers "THE END." Now, it could just be that Konami didn't want to hire another guy to voice the Game Over screen, but I think it's the narrator having a little "just between you and me" moment with his old buddy as he bleeds out.
The evidence is substantial, and, given the circumstances, we can't afford to take any chances. Officers, arrest the narrator.
I think the narrator is working with the terrorists.
Here's why:
Throughout the game, without fail, the sniper finds himself alone against an army of terrorists. The plot revolves around these terrorists trying to kidnap the President and his family by force; in what universe does that happen without a literal army arriving at the scene?
The narrator sounds like some kind of operator, directing the sniper and others to their various assignments. Anybody who's seen "24" knows what's going on here; they guy in front of the computer directs all the SWAT teams to go tackle the terrorists on the left, while they get away with their dastardly deeds on the right. The sniper is said to be an outside contractor. Could it be that he's arriving at the scene without backup because he's not linked into the same corrupted system and command hierarchy?
It's implied that the narrator and the sniper know each other; he tells the sniper he's "lost his touch," for instance. Not evidence of wrongdoing, but there's never been a movie in which the mole and the hero don't have a friendly relationship before the reveal. More damning is what happens when the sniper is killed. In a much darker tone, the narrator whispers "THE END." Now, it could just be that Konami didn't want to hire another guy to voice the Game Over screen, but I think it's the narrator having a little "just between you and me" moment with his old buddy as he bleeds out.
The evidence is substantial, and, given the circumstances, we can't afford to take any chances. Officers, arrest the narrator.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
I Finally Get The Legion!
Today, I had a minor, personal epiphany about the Legion of Super-Heroes.
See, it's not that I don't like superhero aliens teaming up to have space adventures in the 31st century, everyone does. I just couldn't get over the fact that, while the universe has come to regard them as a Justice League-esque organization, realistically they should be pretty ineffectual. Take founding member Saturn Girl, who has psychic powers. She's not unique among her race. All Saturnians have psychic powers. Her race also has a military, and SWAT teams, and the like. When Darkseid shows up and tries to conquer the universe, there should be whole armies of psychics mobilizing to stop him. While some Legion members have unique powers, many are in the same boat. So why are they anything remotely special or effective, when so many others can do exactly what they do?
Well, the answer is that many others simply DON'T do what they do. It's not the Legion members' powers that make them special, the thing that distinguishes them from others is that they saw problems and stepped up to do something about it. By chance I also stumbled upon this post about Superman, arguing that he chose to be a hero not because it was forced on him (like Batman) or because of something he did (like Spider-Man), but simply because it was the right thing to do. If he lost his powers tomorrow he would shrug, become a fireman, and still try to do the right thing to the best of his abilities. The Legion, originally, was inspired to heroics by Superman, and they're doing the same thing: stepping in and using their abilities to the fullest to do the right thing. Other Saturnians could throw themselves in the path of galactic tyrants, but they don't. Saturn Girl does.
Now maybe I can enjoy reading about them more.
See, it's not that I don't like superhero aliens teaming up to have space adventures in the 31st century, everyone does. I just couldn't get over the fact that, while the universe has come to regard them as a Justice League-esque organization, realistically they should be pretty ineffectual. Take founding member Saturn Girl, who has psychic powers. She's not unique among her race. All Saturnians have psychic powers. Her race also has a military, and SWAT teams, and the like. When Darkseid shows up and tries to conquer the universe, there should be whole armies of psychics mobilizing to stop him. While some Legion members have unique powers, many are in the same boat. So why are they anything remotely special or effective, when so many others can do exactly what they do?
Well, the answer is that many others simply DON'T do what they do. It's not the Legion members' powers that make them special, the thing that distinguishes them from others is that they saw problems and stepped up to do something about it. By chance I also stumbled upon this post about Superman, arguing that he chose to be a hero not because it was forced on him (like Batman) or because of something he did (like Spider-Man), but simply because it was the right thing to do. If he lost his powers tomorrow he would shrug, become a fireman, and still try to do the right thing to the best of his abilities. The Legion, originally, was inspired to heroics by Superman, and they're doing the same thing: stepping in and using their abilities to the fullest to do the right thing. Other Saturnians could throw themselves in the path of galactic tyrants, but they don't. Saturn Girl does.
Now maybe I can enjoy reading about them more.
Public Service Announcement
The Gemini Arcade on Flamingo and Sandhill has the holy trinity of Konami beat-em-ups, "X-Men," "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles," and "The Simpsons." All 4-player cabinets, all 25 cents per play. And free fooseball.
You're welcome.
You're welcome.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Let's Read Some Comics!
As I said earlier, I managed to snag 60 comics exactly from a quarter bin sale. Let's read 'em!
X-Men #80
I only bought this one because I recognized the cover image from a house ad in an issue of "Thor" I subscribed to when I was 10 or so (good god, why can't I remember useful things?). It's bland to the extreme. It made so little impression on me that it's actually kind of remarkable, but not really because booooooring.
Infinite Crisis #6
Oy. Geoff Johns makes miniscule to moderate changes in the history of the DC Universe. Exclamation point. Okay, okay, that doesn't preclude there being a good plot, but this is about as "meh" as any other crossover you might have read. Alexander Luthor brings back the DC Multiverse and starts slamming earths into each other to create an idealized, perfect earth, kind of like in Persona 3. The heroes smash his tower and Superboy dies (BOO). The issue has multiple pencillers (probably a deadline thing), but each is of high quality and transitions between them aren't jarring. The panel design is also good. Geoff Johns' dialogue is very Geoff Johnsy, but not terrible by a long shot. One thing I like is that, unlike most crossovers which generally throw out JLA/JSA/Outsiders/Titans, this one really throws obscure, z-list characters all over the place to give the impression of a reaaaaal big problem they're dealing with. It also has that Black Adam "funny faces" scene. For a quarter, you could do worse.
Captain America #50
Bucky Cap fights some rocket robot terrorists on his birthday and reflects back to his crappy past birthdays. When he gets back to his house, his friends throw him a surprise party. Inoffensive. The backup, "Sentinel of Liberty" by Marcos Martin, is a simple history of Cap beautifully illustrated. I'm the type that won't buy a comic based on art alone, but this one makes me wish I owned a scanner to share some of the pages, so if you're an art guy, go nuts.
Guardians of the Galaxy #17, 21-23
Abnett and Lanning's post "Annihilation 2" series about a team made up of quirky and fun characters like space Kratos and a lovable, sarcastic space raccoon. They're tying into crossovers like "War of Kings" and "Realm of Kings," so I'm not sure what's going on, but the dialogue, fights, and art are all of high quality and worth reading. #21-23 involves Moondragon being impregnated by a little elder god from a "cancerverse," and a space church being lead by The Magus kidnapping her and trying to birth it. Perhaps not reading everything hurts here, but I have no idea who The Magus is besides the fact that he's an evil version of Adam Warlock and he's, like, the champion of life or something. If you're not into Marvel's cosmic side, you might be a bit lost. Fun, space.
Amazing Spider-Man
#613, 614: Electro gets an upgrade and fights Spider-Man. Mark Waid's the writer, so it's pretty solid stuff with nice art. My main point of contention comes from the fact that Electro becomes an internet celebrity protesting Wall Street bailouts, to the point that his crowd of supporters tries to kill Spider-Man! C'mon, if Glenn Beck can't drive people to murder, I doubt Electro can.
#618, 619: Mysterio is back! Or maybe he isn't? The whole plot is about comic book heroes, villains, and supporting casts faking their deaths taken to an entertaining extreme. Mysterio, who may or may not have actually died, reveals the he either faked the deaths or the resurrections of several mafia crime members and a few Spidey supporting cast members in a gambit to control the underworld while driving Spidey nuts. I only get the middle two issues, so there's a lot of "what the hell is going on?" but in a deliberate way. It's a neat use of Mysterio and commentary on comic book death, so I'll see about tracking down the rest.
X-Men #80
I only bought this one because I recognized the cover image from a house ad in an issue of "Thor" I subscribed to when I was 10 or so (good god, why can't I remember useful things?). It's bland to the extreme. It made so little impression on me that it's actually kind of remarkable, but not really because booooooring.
Infinite Crisis #6
Oy. Geoff Johns makes miniscule to moderate changes in the history of the DC Universe. Exclamation point. Okay, okay, that doesn't preclude there being a good plot, but this is about as "meh" as any other crossover you might have read. Alexander Luthor brings back the DC Multiverse and starts slamming earths into each other to create an idealized, perfect earth, kind of like in Persona 3. The heroes smash his tower and Superboy dies (BOO). The issue has multiple pencillers (probably a deadline thing), but each is of high quality and transitions between them aren't jarring. The panel design is also good. Geoff Johns' dialogue is very Geoff Johnsy, but not terrible by a long shot. One thing I like is that, unlike most crossovers which generally throw out JLA/JSA/Outsiders/Titans, this one really throws obscure, z-list characters all over the place to give the impression of a reaaaaal big problem they're dealing with. It also has that Black Adam "funny faces" scene. For a quarter, you could do worse.
Captain America #50
Bucky Cap fights some rocket robot terrorists on his birthday and reflects back to his crappy past birthdays. When he gets back to his house, his friends throw him a surprise party. Inoffensive. The backup, "Sentinel of Liberty" by Marcos Martin, is a simple history of Cap beautifully illustrated. I'm the type that won't buy a comic based on art alone, but this one makes me wish I owned a scanner to share some of the pages, so if you're an art guy, go nuts.
Guardians of the Galaxy #17, 21-23
Abnett and Lanning's post "Annihilation 2" series about a team made up of quirky and fun characters like space Kratos and a lovable, sarcastic space raccoon. They're tying into crossovers like "War of Kings" and "Realm of Kings," so I'm not sure what's going on, but the dialogue, fights, and art are all of high quality and worth reading. #21-23 involves Moondragon being impregnated by a little elder god from a "cancerverse," and a space church being lead by The Magus kidnapping her and trying to birth it. Perhaps not reading everything hurts here, but I have no idea who The Magus is besides the fact that he's an evil version of Adam Warlock and he's, like, the champion of life or something. If you're not into Marvel's cosmic side, you might be a bit lost. Fun, space.
Amazing Spider-Man
#613, 614: Electro gets an upgrade and fights Spider-Man. Mark Waid's the writer, so it's pretty solid stuff with nice art. My main point of contention comes from the fact that Electro becomes an internet celebrity protesting Wall Street bailouts, to the point that his crowd of supporters tries to kill Spider-Man! C'mon, if Glenn Beck can't drive people to murder, I doubt Electro can.
#618, 619: Mysterio is back! Or maybe he isn't? The whole plot is about comic book heroes, villains, and supporting casts faking their deaths taken to an entertaining extreme. Mysterio, who may or may not have actually died, reveals the he either faked the deaths or the resurrections of several mafia crime members and a few Spidey supporting cast members in a gambit to control the underworld while driving Spidey nuts. I only get the middle two issues, so there's a lot of "what the hell is going on?" but in a deliberate way. It's a neat use of Mysterio and commentary on comic book death, so I'll see about tracking down the rest.
Genius At Work
The last boss of "Marvel vs. Capcom" is Onslaught, who, as we all know, is a psionic merging of Professor Xavier and Magneto. However, you can still use Magneto as a helper character while fighting Onslaught. Are we supposed to believe that there are, heh heh, two Magnetos? Oh, I sincerely hope someone got fired for that blunder.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Comics Are Weird To Buy
A few amazing sales at some comic stores today. At "Alternate Reality Comics" their one dollar bins were converted into 25-cent bins for a few hours. They also had a girl dressed in a skintight Phoenix costume to seal the deal. At "Cosmic Comics" they were discounting a ton of trades at 70% off. Not just crap stuff, either, stuff like "Incredible Herc" hardcovers and Waid "Fantastic Four" trades. I ended up spending 20 dollars and ending up with the equivalent of about 100 random comics.
I also went to "Tim Boald's Comic Oasis" to find some key Cassandra Cain appearances outside of her own series; I'm finally getting to making those Batgirl omnibuses I've been dithering about for years. 7 specific issues cost $21, and I've still got 12 to go, assuming I have a complete list right now. Oy.
The point is, the cost of a comic is directly correlated with its specificity.
UPDATE: Yep, after buying from various online sources, all seventeen issues add up to around sixty bucks. I guess that's about cover price + tax, but that's bordering on a ridiculous amount of money to pay for back issues. I hope I don't need any more.
I also went to "Tim Boald's Comic Oasis" to find some key Cassandra Cain appearances outside of her own series; I'm finally getting to making those Batgirl omnibuses I've been dithering about for years. 7 specific issues cost $21, and I've still got 12 to go, assuming I have a complete list right now. Oy.
The point is, the cost of a comic is directly correlated with its specificity.
UPDATE: Yep, after buying from various online sources, all seventeen issues add up to around sixty bucks. I guess that's about cover price + tax, but that's bordering on a ridiculous amount of money to pay for back issues. I hope I don't need any more.
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