Retro Gamer

Let me tell you about my love/hate relationship with "Retro Gamer."

"Retro Gamer" is a British magazine that focuses on old video games, featuring retrospectives, interviews, making-ofs, analysis, and just general nostalgic gushing. It sounds like heaven... my problem is that its not! Quite! There!

My main problem is that it doesn't go in-depth enough. When it talks about, say, the "Mario Kart" series, it doesn't provide you with any information that you couldn't find in its Wikipedia article, with perhaps a few new anecdotes. At its best, it still isn't up to the standards of Hardcore Gaming 101 or Retrogaming with Racketboy, and they're free and written by amateurs.

The problem, I think, is one of perspective and context. Old video games don't exist in a vacuum, they're period pieces. The people at Nintendo and Square have often said that they don't want to remake games such as "The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time" or "Final Fantasy VII" because they're so deeply associated with peoples' childhood memories (or at least their pasts) to the extent that the same game or a remake today would make for a disconnectedness that would sour that personal connection. You can't play "Mortal Kombat" without feeling the weight of early debates on violence, you can't play "Donkey Kong Country" without analyzing Nintendo's calculated attack on early 32-bit competitors, and you can't play "GoldenEye 007" without considering the climate for console first person shooters before and after its debut. I find the history of the game industry, the business of a new artistic medium, to be wonderfully fascinating, and retro video games are the preserved footprints of that huge, constantly-advancing business. "Retro Gamer" very rarely, if ever, provides or analyzes this context, and that's a shame.

Nor, unfortunately, does "Retro Gamer" ever delve deeply into the naked content of the games themselves. Old games that are still played and, in some cases, constantly resold to new audiences today have something about them, a design philosophy, an art philosophy that transcends (or even uses) the limitations of their primitive hardware to speak to gamers across decades. I'm sure you could write a thesis on how "Super Mario World" does what it does. "Retro Gamer" never really dissects games in this manner. Sure, it's clear that they have a passionate love for many titles, but they never put them under the microscope. It's a missed opportunity for fascinating writing (and probably a lifetime subscription from me).

And while I'm complaining about their general redistribution of not terribly rare or new surface information, their straight up "reporting" sometimes leaves a bit to be desired as well. They'll talk about a series, but not in a way that's always helpful to the reader (well, at least to me). While they're passionate about games, howzabout helping me play them? For example, I recently purchased an issue because of a feature on the "Micro Machines" series, as I had heard about it recently and was interested in getting more information, possibly making a purchase of one of the games. The feature talked about what the series IS, with anecdotes from the creators, but at the end of the article, it was essentially a sequence of basic facts about the series. The article seemed to assume that the reader would be as passionate about the series as the writer, whereas I was interested in gaining some perspective on this obscure series and why its well-remembered by fans. Also, I was kind of hoping it'd have some kind of suggestion on the best game in the series, or which one to buy to get into it. I still haven't played a "Micro Machines" game (though to be fair, I have an extremely short attention span).

Now don't get me wrong, not every game in the world needs a discussion of its influence, scholarly analysis, and a guide to getting into the series late. The latest issue featured a two-page spread on the making of "Banshee," a well-done shooter for a British computer, which was essentially an extended chat with its creators. Cool; that's all we need for "Banshee." Similarly, a "Definitive 'Centipede'" guide had no more than two paragraphs for each game, because you don't need that much to sum up an obscure sequel to "Centipede." And don't let me tell you that their "surface reporting" is always of little use; they recently published a "25 Best Adventure Games (Not Made By LucasArts)" that I, as a man who knows next to nothing about point-and-click adventure games, very well could use as a guide to get into the genre. It's just... well, not really enough.

Part of the disconnect might be from the fact that its a British magazine, so the childhoods and pasts of its contributors don't match up with the typical American. They won't shut up about their British computers, such as the Spectrum, Amiga, Commodore 64, etc, systems that were barely a blip on the radar in America's gaming industry. Seriously guys, shut up about "Seymour Goes to Hollywood" and talk about "NBA Jam" or something. Christ.

Of course, this is all easier said than done. Writing is really difficult. I mean, read through some of my blog posts; they're "pretty good" at best and I'm trying as hard as I can. Maybe it's asking too much to get the kind of content I've been describing. However... that's what you need to hook me. Sorry.

And let me say, while the writing leaves much to be desired, the design, my GOD the design, is fantasmic. While there have been a few hiccups here and there, for the most part the magazine is throwing up the kind of sprite and polygon art layouts that really epitomize what makes these old games so wonderful. Look at these covers! It's even nicer being held in your hand. The quality of the paper is also excellent, and the magazine is wider and taller than is average. I swear, it's like "National Geographic" if they were photographing an Atari 7800. Wonderful, truly.

So, ah, what started this little post was the latest issue, featuring a look back at "Rare," the bad boys of the N64. Nice cover, huh? Lots of easter eggs and obscure characters (but we all recognized them, right fellas?). But, BUT! Look at this: the cover to old British game magazine "Zzap!64" issue 9. Good lord do I wish there was an American equivalent to this magazine, because so much of their passionate masturbatory nostalgia is lost on Americans! Lost!

Not a terrible issue, I'd say just barely worth my $10. But here's the thing; unlike the "Micro Machines" feature above, I did go into this one with a preexisting passion for all things "Rare." And, at the end of the day... I would have had that even if I hadn't bought the magazine. It takes more than shared nostalgia between writer and reader to keep something like this going for me, and too often that's all they've got.

Big "Rare" lovefest incoming.


(In related "retro game art layout" achievement, check out GamesTM's 100 covers for the 100 best games of all time. I couldn't stop staring at that one for awhile. I ended up with the "Smash Bros" one.)