Microsoft's Terrifying Vision of the Future, Part Two

I know, I know, I know... it's been a few days, and I admit I've calmed down some. But good GOD, this Natal thing is still terrifying as hell.

First of all, the kid with the skateboard. Stealing Clobert's joke, there's finally a game for people who own a skateboard, and know how to skateboard, but do not want to actually go outside and skateboard. And, just from a non-terrifying marketing perspective (well, I'm sure it's terrifying to Microsoft's sales team), it just seems like an idea that wouldn't really work. DDR's fun, but it's not something you want to play all the time, or even most of the time. I'm the biggest light-gun fanatic in the world, but one two-hour Gameworks run through a majority of the greats and I was willing to hang it up for a month or so. And I'm betting this will be the same thing.

Now, look at the bit of the video (it's in the first post, scroll down some ya lazy bastards) about the girls discussing clothing options for the upcoming "big dance." The scrolling through with a frenchman's wave to pick out a random dress (that of course has no labels or... is anything close to a real dress you can buy) virtually while talking on the video phone reminds me of the future everyone thought we would have in the 80s until we realized that it was stupid and we didn't want it.

But by far the most terrifying thing is this:



Good God. I'm hoping to God that this isn't real, I really really do. First of all, this kid is right in the center of the uncanny valley, which is creepy enough, but let's face it:

Filthy things are going to happen to this poor, virtual child.

What's the first thing EVERYBODY does when they play Grand Theft Auto? Turn on cheat codes and run people over with a tank. When people get their hands on this incredibly realistic child simulator (and I have to ask... how do they plan to really sell this thing? Is it a game or what?), and see how lifelike it's responses are, they're going to start thinking.

"Does this child really understand everything I say?"

"Will this child recognize that I took off my pants?"

This isn't just child molestors, folks. Everyone is going to do this. If I got a copy of this "game," I am 100% sure that I'd do it sooner rather than later too.

So yeah. It's creepy.

Whew, glad I got that done with. Now I can write some other stuff.